SEPTEMBER COMPASS: Droppin’ the Scope
Aries Always use the hand sanitizer after relieving yourself in a porta potty. For one, germs, but more importantly, you’ll exit the…
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Aries Always use the hand sanitizer after relieving yourself in a porta potty. For one, germs, but more importantly, you’ll exit the…
Aries You like your romantic partners the way you like your coffee: submerged in ice ‘til they’re the temperature of a…
Aries: To err is human. To blame mistakes on anyone but yourself is Aries. Lucky Show: The Dreebs @ Deep Thoughts …
Aries Earth and all of its green goodness is incredibly angry with humanity. Expect the tree’s revenge in the form of many…
Aries It would make more sense if it was harder to get pregnant and easier to give birth, but ok. Lucky…
Aries You used to take Ambien, a prescription sleep medication, recreationally and stay “awake,” entering a hallucinogenic dream state and blurting out…
Aries Next time your significant other gets on the ground to pick up a baggy of drugs they claim to have…
Aries You don’t need to roll around on the ground with all of your erogenous zones exposed, goops of ungodly colors spewing…
Aries You struggle with the concept that another person could be more appealing than you are, either in word or deed or…
Aries Aries could be voted, “Most likely to take two weeks to friend you back on Instagram in order to seem elusive.”…
Aries The only difference between you and China’s Smog-Sucking Tower is that after the sucking, the air around the tower is 55%…
Aries 10% of success is showing up. The other 90 is looking clean and saying that you’d be interested in pumping frozen…