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JUNE COMPASS: Droppin’ the Scope


Aries: To err is human. To blame mistakes on anyone but yourself is Aries.

Lucky Show: The Dreebs @ Deep Thoughts


Taurus: Peer pressure as an adult is filling your shopping cart with healthy cereals, fresh vegetables, and bulk discount seltzers (but hiding the Ho-Ho’s underneath).

Lucky Show: Bad History Month @ Christian Herter Park


Gemini: If a Gemini weighed themselves before and after they defecate, we would all be able to finally determine how full of shit they can be.

Lucky Show: Tonstartssbandht @ Deep Thoughts 


Cancer: At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to stay, and those who want to leave (Cancer). Problem is, they’re usually carpooling together.

Lucky Show: otay:onii @ Hardcore Stadium


Leo: You only have two minutes to live, but every time you breathe you reset your doomsday clock.

Lucky Show: Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks @ Sinclair 


Virgo: If you have sex with a virgin while somehow positioned on a wheelchair you could potentially pop a cherry, a boner, and a wheelie at the same time.

Lucky Show: Banny Grove @ Deep Thoughts


Libra: A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone you know, and the worst version is in the mind of your dental hygienist.

Lucky Show: Lonnie Holley Quartet @ First Parish Cambridge 


Scorpio: You’re not worthless! You can sell one of your kidneys RIGHT NOW and buy a car.

Lucky Show: Gobbinjr @ Elks Lodge 


Sagittarius: Horniness is just your body trying to clickbait you into having children. Your chosen method of birth control is basically an adblocker.

Lucky Show: Hit Bargain @ O’Brien’s


Aquarius: If you ‘ghost’ someone while traveling abroad this summer, you should feel bad, but you should also feel impressed that your fear of commitment knows no borders.

Lucky Show: Middleditch & Schwartz @ the Wilbur


Capricorn: If you want to feel more masc about your affections for romantic movies, think of them as hardcore porn for your heart.

Lucky Show: Kath Bloom @ Streetcar 


Pisces: It’s important to be able to look back on your past behavior and cringe a little bit, or a lot; it’s one of the only quantifiable ways to show how much you’ve grown.

Lucky Show: Havelli (Sara from Saralee!) @ Deep Thoughts


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