A PAID ADVERTISING TESTIMONIAL 

“I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO WIN MORE TROPHIES…” 

says Dr. Grabkurt, renowned “life” expert. Dr. Grabkurt believes that the trophy is man’s greatest barometer of success. “It is far more important than meaningless academic degrees or life experiences,” the trophy authority notes. “I will teach you how to acquire more trophies, bigger trophies, trophies that have more little gold people on top and trophies that will impress everyone, from potential ‘lovers’ to business associates.” Sign up now for this once in a lifetime opportunity!

NOW AVAILABLEPamphlets by Dr. Grabkurt  ($9.95 each!)

Sports Trophies: The Sleeping Giant 

How to Parlay the Winning of a Big Trophy into a Deep, Satisfying Relationship (Heterosexual Only)

Dr. Grabkurt’s Guide to Avoiding Dying Alone and Trophy-less: A 26-Step Handbook 

Name ___________________

Address _________________

Number of Trophies

You Have Won ____________

 

Clip and Mail to:

Dr. Grabkurt

General Delivery

Lankville

Drawing courtesy of Sarah Samways