The Boy in the Mirror
It’s hard to love yourself when your mirror keeps spitting in your face. I’ve been trying to love that kid behind the glass but he constantly interrupts me, points out my flaws, and tears me apart every time we talk. I don’t know where everything went wrong. I remember when we were young. I would climb up onto the sink just to get a look at him. I remember his young face. Beautiful and soft. Bowl cut cropped tightly to his forehead. Hazel eyes looking gently into mine.He was peaceful back then. He believed in himself. He would make funny faces at me and copy my every move. But then we got a little older. We grew apart. I went off on my own way and he kept his distance. I’d avoid him in the morning. Block my view when I walked to the toilet. I could hardly take a picture without thinking about him and I think that’s when everything changed. We started seeing eachother again. And though he was still charming there was calloused look inhis eyes. He didn’t smile as much. I wanted to hold him and make everything better but just because you love someone doesn’t mean they won’t be depressed anymore. He started getting abusive. He lashed out. I was scared he’d break the class if I cried any longer. And then i broke. I went away. I stopped. I let myself go. I stopped showering. I didn’t talk to my friends. I was so numb I couldn’t even cry. young break ups seem insignificant to the older folks but to the kids it means the world. This went on for a few months until I caved. I crept into the bathroom to see him. His face was red and bloated. I could tell he’d been crying. But through the tears and tragedy for the first time in years I saw him smile. He seemed a thousand years older. We started working things out. We aren’t fully committed to each other yet. I think he’s seeing other people but I don’t mind. I’m still dealing with a lot after what he put me through but I’m starting to trust him again. But even after all of the scars, and everything he said, I still look in the mirror morning, and say I love you.
By Brian Huntress
Featured in Basement Babes, Issue 13