Feels like this came out of nowhere, right? Well, it kind of did! The production history of Moana 2 is more interesting than the film itself, give or take a vampire woman. What started as a Disney+ Original Series has been Frankenstein’d into Disney’s Thanksgiving theatrical release, where it will gross one billion dollars because Moana is like god to all children. Does this mean the TV animators have been compensated fairly for the bump from TV to film? Probably not!
Three years after returning the heart of Te Fiti and saving her home, Moana (Auli’i Cravalho) is searching unexplored islands for proof that other people are out there. As wayfinder, she dreams of reconnecting with the rest of humanity, unaware that literal gods are conspiring against her. After a spiritual visit from her ancestor, Moana learns that a vicious lightning god called Nalo is keeping humanity apart, sinking a magic island named Motu Fetu in the process. If Moana can reach this island and raise it from the ocean, important currents will resurface and allow other tribes to find her. She puts together a crew and heads out on her adventure, unsure of what awaits her.
First things first: the songs are bad. When this was originally a TV show, sure, let’s go with the composers of the unofficial Bridgerton musical, but raising Barlow and Bear to theatrical songwriters is just rude to them. The only real standout is a rousing song by a charismatic vampire woman, and that sentence is crazy. The songs of Moana 2 aren’t bad in the way the songs of Wish fail, they just sound like you’re not really supposed to be listening to them. Perhaps they were designed for you to hear from the other room while your kid watches it over and over again?
There’s a real “direct to video” vibe to the proceedings, which is understandable. There’s a bit of a disconnect between the original film and the sequel, which introduces a lot more monsters and mythology. I was most reminded of the Aladdin TV show, where basically anything could happen at any time. Jasmine was trapped in a magic mirror at one point, if I recall correctly. Disney is usually so precious with their IP these days, the looseness here is the most interesting part. Disney is scared, and they turned what was supposed to be a footnote in the world of Moana into a full-fledged theatrical event. Ironically, Moana 2 does a much better job of setting up Moana 3 than Frozen II does Frozen III (coming in 2027!)
Mercifully, the film never loses sight of what makes Moana herself so compelling. She’s still a fearless explorer, but she’s having a crisis of confidence. She’s older now, and she has a baby sister. Moana understands what she has to lose if she fails on her quest, and it’s freaking her out. With some help from Maui (Dwayne Johnson, who’s sounding a bit raspier than usual) after he stops being a dick, Moana proves again why she is a hero to every single child under the age of eight. The less said about Maui in this film the better – while he works as supporting, he’s making pseudo-Genie remarks and crass jokes that, again, would work better when you are half paying attention as this plays on your TV in broad daylight.
Moana 2 is not good, but it’s the kind of bad I enjoy rather than whatever was going on with Wish and Strange World. There’s been a stink of desperation to Disney’s output this year, and while this has yet to give us a new Little Mermaid, there’s definitely panic going on in the House of Mouse. Will Zootopia 2 also feel like six episodes of a TV show that got smooshed? Is the bunny still going to be a cop? Who knows! My condolences to all parents who are going to have to listen to Maui rapping for the next eighteen years of their lives. That’s not Moana’s fault! She’s awesome!
Moana 2
2024
dir. David Derrick Jr., Jason Hand, & Dana Ledoux Miller
100 min
In theaters now!
