This summer I went to Oslo and Stockholm. Here are 10 travelogue haiku for each city.

10 OSLO HAIKU

icy sodden wool

wild seas high winds leaking boats

Viking life no thanks

Vigeland sculpture park

woman positions stuffed pig

it stars in each pic

a society

beats chaos into its cage

seems impossible

Opera House ramps

keeping skateboarders off

seems impossible

it’s sad I’m bored here

Henrik Ibsen museum

he deserves better

7-11 does

whatever Vikings did

Scandy invasion

still silver fjord

vast unbroken reflection

dark waiting below

afraid of water

not great swimmer or sailor

Thor H. you nutjob

pier’s glassy water

ruptures reluctantly

boats an irritant

blackpack imposter

I like Mayhem’s first record

all I’ve really heard

10 HAIKU STOCKHOLM

tired mom buys fries

holy golden Swede goddess

get Bergman on horn

ferries criss cross close

these low slow dutiful mules

plough wave refractions

Strinberg bust selfie

thumbs up manical smile

private joke with self

seems fascist to me

ABBA Bjorn’s fixed “fun!” smile

maybe culture gap

kronas to dollars

recalculation arrests

skull-crotched shorts purchase

astroturf surrounds

Charles VII in noble bronze

whatta buzzkill Chuck

hotel breakfast chat

sole conversation in trip

funny Turkish shrink

hikey and bikey

Swede’s exact right outdoor gear

annoying somehow

guard looks through my bag

“no food in the library”

banana coat-checked

ubiquitous H

omnipresent ampersand

countless Ms follow

ABBREVIATED SNACK REVIEW

Lay’s Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese Potato Chips.

It’s interesting just how ho-hum the desecration of your favorite foods can be. One of the blurriest-tasting things I’ve ever eaten. I would like to try Whole Wheat Bread flavored potato chips.

Check it out.

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