I love a good Xshower beerX. Something about enjoying a cool tasty beverage in a hot shower at the end of the day just makes everything better. So here’s my top 5 list of straight edge shower beers for 2018.
5- Tea. Believe it or not, hot. A warm peppermint tea is actually amazing in the shower, and smells great. Also a good role-playing beverage. Grab a weird ass tea from your local farmers market (taste bad and expensive but good for you) turn the lights down and pretend you’re rich and interesting.
4- F’real Milkshake. Chocolate. The straw is a little annoying and it’s imperative that you hit “more thick” on the f’real machine (I would anyway) so it doesn’t melt by the time you get home and into the shower. But when that chocolate hits your lips Another plus is it’ll blend in with any unwanted squirts if you’re sick.
3- Bottle of juice. Family size bottle, any flavor. A great, lazy alternative. Just go in your fridge and grab any juice and bring that shit in the fucking shower with you. Fun to manhandle and spill everywhere like you just don’t give a damn. You can do whatever you want cause you’re an adult ya know.
2- Water. I know what you’re thinking. Gross as fuck. But follow these guidelines and water can actually be enjoyable.. it has to be in a big mason jar filled to the brim with ice. The mug gets all steamed up and cool water drips off the edges with every sip. Feels good in your hand. I like to let the ice water drip down my mustache and beard. Imagine yourself as a warrior relaxing after a victorious battle. Now SMASH that mason jar on the ground and demand more and get yelled at by your wife.
1- The #1 straight edge shower beer of 2018 is..
Dr. Pepper! Has to be in a can obviously. Put in freezer for 5min prior to use for maximum enjoyment. Crisp, cold, clean flavour. 23 unique flavours to be exact.