Alright class, it’s time for a lesson on how to make a gritty, psychotic ripper of an album. Open your textbooks to the chapter on Soupcans; these trashy Toronto punks (Telephone Explosion) are pumping out some of the weirdest, ripest tunes imaginable. Case in point: their new Parasite Brain EP, that reads like a story of the grimiest Saturday night escapade. The album writhes to life with it’s namesake track, pulling you off your couch with its jerking, blistering riffs and pushing you into a night of rage-driven, frenetic antics. “No Teeth” starts up and you’re stealing a motorbike and revving the engine in a back-alley until the thing belches smoke as thick as tar. Before you know it you’re in a grimey dive breaking pool cues over the bartender’s head, and as glasses shatter “Weedopolis” keeps crunching away with its booming no-fucks-given guitar. “Crimes of the Future Pt. II” whirls up and you’re stumbling home, head throbbing, leaking vomit on the stack of Yellow Pages you tripped over as those guitars dive and bend. You manage to make it home but can’t get your pants off without throwing a tantrum, so “Lost Drugs” storms along like ultra-pissed out-of-tune 80s hardcore sung by a drooling drunk. And as the rotary distortion of “2 Much” howls, as the vocals bark and spin out, you fall face-first into a nightmare landscape, chased a pitch-black landscape by packs of seething wolves…

The moral of the story, class, is that there is no excuse for you to not be listening to Soupcans right now. Stream this monstrous EP below and be sure to peep the band’s bandcamp for physical release dates.