Between unpredictable weather, family emergencies and the fucking pigs there are plenty of shows that go un-had or half-had every year. It’s a little bit sad but really when you think about the hundreds of events people are throwing all over this city on a regular basis, a few sudden cancellations are bound to happen. Even still, this year was particularly harsh. It probably hurt more in 2012 because shows are just sicker than ever, so when a show doesn’t go down people are ready to throw down. Whatever, here we go, the 6 best shows that never happened or at least not the way they were imagined in 2012:
1. 10/12 Cloud Becomes Your Hand, Bang! Bros, Guerilla Toss, Great Valley, New England Patriots @ Whitehaus
This show will go down in history as the straw that broke the camels back. After Bang Bros and The Pats truly ripped 30+ cops performed a bacon raid on the Whitehaus resulting in the show being moved to Gay Gardens only to be shut down by the Allston authorities after Cloud played. GToss and Great Valley never got to play and it was the last show to go down at Whitehaus. I’ll never forget my day in court for that when the magistrate said “cloud becomes..your hand and G band?”. aaaahhh memories
2. 12/9 Diamond Terrifier, GDFX, Patrick Higgins, Forbes Graham and Adventures of Boxhead @Pro Blemo Gallery
This show would have been one of the greatest solo experimental expositions Allston has ever seen but the cops got wind of how sick it was and warned the landlord to warn the tenants who warned us who warned all ya’ll. nasty chain i hope to never be part of again.
3. 7/26 PARKFEAST @Herter Park
This FREE BOW Show was supposed to take place at Herter Park on the Cambirdge/Allston line and feature the following incredible performers totally acoustic: w/ Banditas, Needy Visions, Arkm Foam(of Peace, Loving), Pile, Pancho The Kid, Brendon Wood(of Devil Music/Debo Band), Gracious Calamity, Ryan Krause, Hyena, Rotten Apples, Hands and Knees, Kal Marks, Hot Tub Panorama, Olivia and Ben Shapes. Basically the weather man predicted rain that never happened and we went with it to spare everyone a whole lot of water on their face. But then we ended up with egg on there instead. Next year for sure..
4. 10/30 Cactus Truck (Amsterdam), Guerilla Toss, Something About Horses and Dust Commander @Problem House
Here’s the skinny.. SAH were sick but then Dust Commander (Fat Bobby from Oneida) and his synth was so powerful there was a noise complaint that spooked the residents of the haus into shutting down the show..SO Cactus Truck from Amsterdam was about to face a no show scenario when Simon from Guerilla Toss stepped up to transport the dying show to his KITCHEN in JP at 2 in the morning. The Truck played to all the show goers who made it across town (and some who just happened to be in JP) until the cops came but Guerilla Toss never got to play and and the majority of the night was spent pacing around deciding what to do.. therefore this is a show that never happened, the way it was supposed to anyway. BUT WHAT PERSEVERANCE
5. 10/29 Abandoned Bear Cages #3
The third installment of the Whitehaus related renegade shows at the Abandoned Bear Cages in Franklin Park (JP) came face to face with Hurricane Sandy this past fall. The 2nd one took place in a heavy rain storm this past May but Foam, Frank, Papa Haygun and a crew of heads managed to rig up enough tarps (after the ran already started) to cover about 75 show goers and over 20 performers. This time the weather got the best of us. But not all of us: Bang Bros and Contex played a show just for Sandy. Not the way it was planned but epic in it’s own right. Looking forward to the next one, remember to BYOCheese and tarps.
6. 7/23 SKOAL KODIAK, Myrrh, Skimask, New England Pats and goddamn Hunnie Bunnies @Buttered Shrimp
This show DID actually happen, only, without the guests of honor: The ferocious Skoal Kodiac. These Minneapolis groove monsters were set to play Boston thanks to top dawg Luke E with their traveling mates MN’s Myrrh, Skimask, NE Patriots and goddamn Hunnie Bunnies. Would’ve been sick indeed but the dudes’ van broke down! Minor misfortunes happen to every hustling tour band but it happened to them AGAIN. Attempt #1 was 11/14/11 at Twin Towers. Although the show went on to be a banger regardless it was even harder of a let down this time to be denied the wrath of the Kodiak. Let’s hope they try again soon and someone owns a warehouse by then..
I suppose it’s a good thing that I couldn’t even list 10. The glass is well over half full, my friends.