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Tender Cruncher – Juicy


2AM, laying on the living room couch, topping off a can of whipped cream, listening to “Juicy” by Tender Cruncher again, taking and deleting selfies. I can never position myself comfortably – my neck strains between the cushion and armrest. Flipping through Instagram. Alternatively, I am lost at Walmart while looking for extension cords.

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard something from Haord Records, the weirdo pop specialists based in Queens. Their 14th release is the new Tender Cruncher tape “Juicy.” Tender Cruncher continues to refine her sound, providing spoken word poetry through filters and pitch shifts, layered atop wonky minimal-wave beats. It’s one big collage of Snapchat filters and advertisements and paranoia and haha a lil humor. But “Juicy” might be her best project yet. It still has carnival-lite bangers like “Nude Metal” and the album highlight “Mercenary Bitch,” but “Passion” pushes Cruncher’s music into a long-form song. “Passion” begins with claustrophobic synths fighting with each other for attention as Tender Cruncher repeats reminders that “you’re gonna get murdered,” but someone will “kill your spirit” first. The chaotic instrumental fades to a distant synth and chopped vocal line for two minutes, letting the poem sink in before the outro track plays. Listening to the album is a blast, even if you feel like you need a shower-cry afterwards. But that’s kinda the point. Give it a listen below:

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