
The latest ‘live-action’ excretion from Disney splattered onto multiplex screens this winter, making a decent amount of money but nowhere near the existentially horrifying amount that its 2019 predecessor did. Mufasa: The Lion King is obviously a worthless sack of crap, a prequel that makes no sense with a framing device from hell, only elevated SOMEWHAT by the presence of director Barry Jenkins, who you may remember from one of the greatest films of the 21st century, Moonlight. How he ended up in this mess, I’d rather not think about. There’s a great (depressing) Vulture piece about it if you want to wallow a bit.
While Nala (Beyoncé, who is about to have a really fun year of litigation for… some stuff) is busy giving birth (not depicted, sorry lion perverts), Simba (Donald Glover, likely recording his lines from his car) leaves his daughter Kiara (Blue Ivy Carter, who honestly does well) in the care of Timon (Billy Eichner, bad) and Pumbaa (Seth Rogen, fine), who exist to be annoying as Rafiki (John Kani) regales the cub with the story of how her grandfather Mufasa (Aaron Pierre) became king. Turns out he was talking out of his ass when he told Simba he came from a long line of royalty, as this Mufasa is a stray who grew up with Taka (Kelvin Harrison Jr.), the actual heir to the throne. Taka, here rendered a petulant incel, grows up to become Scar and kill his brother, before Simba knocks him off Pride Rock and his hyenas eat him. Circle of Life!

It is genuinely not worth getting into this. This review mostly exists to register my continued disgust with the Disney machine, pumping out crap like this while trapping talented -if clearly naive- directors in their cogs. Barry Jenkins could have been doing so much more than giving us lifeless close-ups of ugly lions doing nothing. Mufasa: The Lion King was always going to look horrible, but Jenkins does at least try to get some nice shots in. Unfortunately this thing is about two hours too long. Somehow this movie even features the creation of Pride Rock, something I just assumed happened long before these dead lion puppets moved in. Guess not!
Jenkins can only hope that this film goes the way of the other Disney live-action remakes and disappears from the collective consciousness, never to be seen again. Unless, of course, you are a Barry Jenkins completist and need to watch this for a full retrospective, a permanent humiliating stain on the filmography of one of our most promising American directors.
I had nowhere else to put this so let’s end here: a not insignificant part of the film’s first half focuses on Mufasa’s infatuation with his stepmom, a relationship that feels more romantic than the one with Simba’s eventual mother. Not sure why Rafiki needed to tell this to his granddaughter, but it’s more of a question for the screenwriters, I’d say. If you do ever watch this, and you shouldn’t, you’ll feel the incest vibes right away. It is insane.
I am looking forward to writing this same review for Snow White, but a million times worse. Have you seen that thing? Oh my GOD! This has to end!
Mufasa: The Lion King
2024
Dir. Barry Jenkins
118 min
Do not see this film unless you are doing a Barry Jenkins completionist run, and even then do The Underground Railroad first.