When I was a kid I saw T2: Judgement Day for the first time. I, like most sensible people, had one major take away from it: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the greatest actor of all time. I fell into a flurry of renting Arnold films and consuming them obsessively. Kindergarten Cop. Twins. Total Recall. Junior. Running Man. Jingle All The Way. I watched them all! I even streamed Hercules in New York — Arnold’s first movie where it is quiet questionable if he even knew how to speak English at the time.
How then was it possible that this year was the first time I hear of Red Sonja?
In fact, when I saw this movie was screening at the Coolidge and I said it should be part of our monthly calendar, I didn’t even realize Arnold was in it. I just saw a cheesy-looking 80’s fantasy flick with Brigitte Nielsen and thought, “Hell yeah.“
Perhaps there is good reason I never head of Red Sonja. Schwarzenegger himself said, “It’s the worst film I have ever made. Now, when my kids get out of line, they’re sent to their room and forced to watch Red Sonja ten times. I never have too much trouble with them.” I’m pretty certain Hercules in New York is worse. But this is Arnold we’re talking about. And his word is bond.
The inclusion of Arnold is enough for me to be excited to see this movie on the big screen — and if you’re a true Arn-fan it should excite you as well. Also, don’t forget Brigitte Nielsen is the lead in this movie! If you’re from my generation and are having trouble placing who that is, you might know her from VH1’s The Surreal Life where she had a fling with Flavor Flav. If nothing else, that should be a large enough pull to draw you in.
So come down to the Coolidge on Friday and watch, what I consider to be, the mid-point movie on the declining line of quality that is 80’s fantasy flicks!*
*For disclosure this is my personal interpretation of that line:
Conan the Barbarian (1982) —–> Red Sonja (1985) —–> Masters of the Universe (1987)
Red Sonja
1985
dir. Richard Fleischer
89 mins.
Screens Friday, 11/25, 11:59PM @ Coolidge Corner Theatre
