Judy and the Jerks are an elusive band. I can’t seem to find anything about them online. Maybe I didn’t try that hard, but a google search yields pretty much nothing: just a Bandcamp page, a shaky video of them covering “Corona” by the Minutemen, and some message board posts about what a huge jerk Judge Judy is. I see they’re from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, a place where it’s probably pretty hard to have a punk band. Or maybe it’s an awesome place to have a punk band. How the hell should I know, I’m from Massachusetts (future children: I want this to be my epitaph).

What I do know about this band is that they seriously rip. They play candy-coated garage-punk at whiplash speeds, their guitar-led assault synesthetically conjuring images of neon hamburger signs and pink chainsaws. Musically, it could be almost any year after 1977, but the lyrics let you know it’s 2017 and this is the Tumblr Era. “All I care about is La Croix / I don’t care about your stupid boy.” Well, yeah. Best enjoyed with a classic Melón Pomelo.