Welcome to the premiere installment of Betamax and Chill, a brand new feature showcasing alternative home viewing suggestions outside the Netflix norm!

It’s Thanksgiving evening. Your more conservative kinfolk are lulled into their tryptophan comas, leaving you and your interesting relations to program the entertainment. But Eli Roth still hasn’t gotten around to making Thanksgiving, your parents’ wi-fi can’t handle the MST3K Turkey Day marathon, and Thankskilling is a little too ironic-Netflix-queue-selection. So what to watch?

How about a turkey-themed, anti-drug, pro-Christian, ‘70s splatter film?

Shot in the wilds of Florida, Blood Freak (1972) is a staggeringly weird grindhouse oddity, and perfect counterprogramming to the Macy’s parade. Herschell, a wayward Christian biker, takes refuge at the home of a nice, pious girl (literally named “Angel”). However, Angel’s sinful sister Ann takes a shine to Herschell, and seduces him with the dread marijuana! Instantly addicted, Herschell takes a job at the sisters’ father’s turkey farm, where he volunteers to test a new turkey growth hormone (?), which, naturally, turns him into a were-turkey (!) with a thirst for junkie blood (!?!). The ensuing rampage would be upsettingly violent if it weren’t so incompetently staged, and also performed by a man in a papier mache turkey mask. Oh, and did I mention the onscreen, chain-smoking narrator? Priceless.

Unsurprisingly, Blood Freak is not on any major streaming service, but you can find the awesome Something Weird DVD release pretty cheap on Amazon, which also includes a bevy of short subjects tangentially related to drugs, Jesus, and turkeys.