From Ginger to Jennifer and all the way back to Michael Landon, monsterism has served as a handy onscreen metaphor for puberty. It makes sense: coming of age is nothing if not a feat of body horror, and what teenager hasn’t felt like a monster at one point or another? The wonderfully titled Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, from Quebecquois director Ariane Louis-Seize, puts a unique spin on the formula: young Sasha (Sara Monpetit) is not a normal teenager turning into a monster, but an adolescent vampire who worries her parents with her apparent psychological inability to claim a human victim. It’s not that she thinks killing is wrong, necessarily– she’s constantly slurping on blood bags as if they were Juicy Juice boxes– but, as a vampire child psychologist diagnoses her early in the film, something in her brain triggers her empathy receptors when she witnesses human death, rather than her appetite. We’ve all been there, right?

Sasha’s fangs feel a flutter of awakening, however, when she spies Paul (Félix-Antoine Bénard), a bullied, doe-eyed teen boy contemplating suicide by leaping from the roof of a bowling alley. Is feeding still cruel if the victim wants to die? The two cross paths again in a self-help group (Sasha, knowing that human food is toxic to vampires, had attempted to end it all by gulping down a plate of poutine). Paul offers his life to allow Sasha to feed, and she takes him home to her bedroom for an awkward listening-to-records date as they discuss their peculiar arrangement. The more she gets to know her new morbidly obsessed friend, however, the more she begins to like him– and begins to wonder if she has it in her to make him her “first time.”

It feels opportune that I should see Humanist Vampire just as the trailer for the new Beetlejuice sequel drops. Where that film appears to be trying to recapture the magic of Burton’s beloved original through rote repetition of characters and beats (though I would love to be proven wrong!), Humanist Vampire authentically taps into its infectious spirit of ooky-spooky alienation via a fresh and original story. With her perpetual scowl and wardrobe of too-long sweaters, Sasha is a modern Lydia Deetz, and I can easily imagine her resonating with a new generation of “strange and unusual” teenage girls just as Winona did for youths past. Likewise, the film is visually stunning, from the chill of its Canadian nighttime exteriors to the soft glow of Sasha’s cousin’s loft apartment– its aesthetic certainly owes a debt to Burton, but it is recognizably its own. This is what we need: not a rehash of movies past, but something new that we can hold dear for years to come.

Of course, as the title suggests, this is at its core a romance between its two title characters, and thankfully the chemistry between its young leads is rock solid. With his owlish eyes, pursed frown, and fantasies of the macabre, Bénard ably recalls Bud Cort in Harold and Maude, and it’s hard not to be won over by Monpetit as she shyly charms him by lip syncing Brenda Lee’s “Emotion” on scratchy vinyl. You’re rooting for these kids, even as the “happy ending” they’re working towards involves her killing and exsanguinating him.

I’m not sure what it is about the vampire myth that lends itself to amiable hangout comedies, but Humanist Vampire instantly joins the ranks of Only Lovers Left Alive and the movie and TV versions of What We Do in the Shadows as a classic of the genre. A big part of the film’s charm is that it’s not just Sasha, but an entire community of suburban, French-Canadian vampires, recognizable by their sallow complexions and dark rings under their eyes, but otherwise normal (if bloodthirsty) folks. Her relationship with her family– her strict mother, her pushover dad, the cool-but-bitchy older cousin forced to take her under her wing– is easily relatable, even as they discuss wanton, nightly murder as if it were as common as getting a driver’s license. Each member of the cast is perfectly attuned to the film’s off-kilter tone, and it’s a delight watching them bounce off each other.

There will be those, I suppose, who may recoil at the film’s candy-sweet tone and earnest teenage romance, but, frankly, those people don’t sound like very much fun. This is, quite simply, an adorable film, wildly charming and imminently crowd-pleasing (not for nothing was it the handy winner of this year’s BUFF Audience Prize). It’s the sort of film I can imagine growing beloved for years to come, handily securing a slot alongside Trick ‘r Treat and Shaun of the Dead (and, yes, Beetlejuice) as an essential Halloween comfort rewatch. (As a public service announcement, I should also let you know that the killer closing credits song is “Dracula Ye-Ye” by Andres Pajares, and it is available for download on Bandcamp). With many BUFF selections, I need to temper my recommendations with a “not for all tastes” or a “proceed with caution.” Just this once, I can comfortably say you’re going to easily like this one.

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person
2023
dir. Ariane Louis-Seize
91 min.

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